Bosses Say They Want the Truth. Do They Mean It?

livemint.com:

Marchiano Loen stared at his screen for two hours. He drafted one response, then another. He begged someone in human resources for help.

Still, the question vexed him. What can your manager improve on? “Oh God, I actually have to answer this," the tech worker thought as he pondered the employee survey. “What am I going to write?" Bosses claim they want honest feedback.

Telling the truth can spark change, make your work life better and show off your own assertiveness. Or you could get fired. (At least it feels that way.) Like it or not, silence isn’t an option.

But you have to be really careful about just how candid to get with the boss. Loen says he was once frozen out by a manager after suggesting he could improve his communication style during presentations. Warm small talk and jokes evaporated, and Loen’s big projects were redistributed.

Now he uses what he calls “the Jacuzzi approach." He dips a toe in with bosses to test the water, seeing how they react to a fairly neutral piece of commentary before saying anything of substance. He might ask, would that meeting be better on Tuesday than Monday? “It’s a survival mechanism," he says. The lies we tell The average person lies three times in the first 10 minutes of meeting someone new, according to research from Robert Feldman, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.

Such superficial fibs lubricate many of our social interactions, he says, helping us fit in and getting people to like us. This salad is delicious, we insist. Or I loved the “Barbie" movie, too! With the boss, the photo of their kid is suddenly extraordinarily cute, their jacket perfect for today’s presentation.