Stiff Nipples? About Effing Time! The company names deemed too rude to register

theguardian.com:

Name: Rude companies.

Age: Let’s assume ancient.

Appearance: A row of outraged citizens spitting out their tea at a passing white van.

Brilliant – this is just going to be a long list of naughty puns, isn’t it? No, it’s not. This is going to be a steely critique of the conservative views and anti-entrepreneurial attitude of Companies House.

Oh, OK. Bit disappointing. But necessary, I’m afraid. It has just been revealed that Companies House has this year banned more than 350 limited companies from using names that were deemed to be in bad taste.

Terrible. Just out of interest, what did they include? I don’t see why it’s relevant to this piece of serious journalism, but the banned names included Bell End Holdings and Little Pricks Acupuncture.

Awful. Right? Did nobody think of the owners? The operators of The Bad Bitch Boutique probably spent a lot of time and money coming up with a brand identity, just for the big suits at Companies House to smash it to pieces at the earliest opportunity. The air-conditioning engineers who called their business Stiff Nipples probably had a van made up and everything.

Oh, they did. They did?

I saw a Stiff Nipples vanless than a month ago. Well, yes: limited companies are allowed to trade under other names, just not use them officially.

Right. This seems like a lot of work for Companies House. In fact, this is a light year for them. In 2021, it banned more than 800 names. These included Fit As Fork, Pervert Cat, Building That Fought Hitler and The Great Big Corrupt Company. In 2018, it banned companies called TittyGoHard and Stop Making Everything Shit.

Probably for the best. You don’t want to be the receptionist who has to answer the phone with: “TittyGoHard, how can I help you?” But still, this