From weekend fights to emotional distance: Navigating common couple conflicts
Subscribe to enjoy similar stories. A 42-year-old client tells me, “Every weekend we end up fighting so much so that I have begun to hate Saturdays. I fear that my partner and I will get into a squabble over something inane and it will spiral into something massive that’s impossible to solve.
It’s exhausting and what’s worse is that these fights end up spoiling Sunday, and by the time we resolve matters, the weekend is over and we are back to work." A lot of couples bring up this concern during therapy sessions. Most couples know how the weekend evokes emotions and conflicts and yet find it hard to break the pattern. The weekend is when people give themselves permission to pause, examine things and as a result, issues which were not addressed during the week rise to the surface and lead to a conflict.
Over the years, new client referrals and people reaching out are at their highest during the weekend. One of my observations is that a lot of fights happen between 8-11pm on weekdays, generally post dinner. This is when people are overwhelmed, tired and operating at very low patience and stress tolerance.
As a result, fights assume a charge and intensity, which leads to small issues becoming big. When we are dealing with a lot and don’t communicate our concerns and needs to our partner, then the smallest of things can be perceived as a sign of being insensitive. Our irrational belief that our partner should be able to gauge exactly what we are feeling comes up in moments like this.
Sometimes anger that is felt in relation to other life concerns may show up as a tantrum that is directed towards the partner. This leads to conflicts escalating, with unmet needs still not being communicated properly. As adults we need to take
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