My dream break from work wasn’t what I expected

livemint.com:

I didn’t travel the world. I didn’t take up an extreme sport. Even the needlepoint kit I bought during week two remains unopened in my cabinet.

I thought four and a half months without work would birth a new me, with fresh hobbies and skills and maybe a wild story or two to share at parties. Instead, I was surprised to find my sabbatical brought a quieter joy: the chance to enjoy the life I already had. It was always clear that life was a good one.

Two healthy children, a husband I adore, a great job and as much stability as one can have these days. But sometimes it all felt like a treadmill powered by stress. The things that weren’t work had started to feel like impositions or distractions, instead of my actual life.

I began jotting down all the things I’d do if I had an open stretch of time, just for me. I titled the list “dream break." Last fall, I finally got up the courage to ask for it. My bosses said yes.

“Not like maternity leave?" a fellow parent asked in the preschool parking lot, glancing at my stomach, as I explained I wasn’t working at the moment, though hadn’t totally walked away. The concept of just hitting pause proved hard for people to understand. That same blurriness also worried me.

Was this indulgent? Would we be able to make it work financially? (My sabbatical was unpaid, save a few days of vacation time.) I had been working full time since I was 22. Was I risking my career? Worried I’d squander the privilege, I decided to simply do everything. I purged closets, deep-cleaned the pantry and embarked on every errand I’d put off since having children six years ago.