What leaders often misunderstand about loyalty: It’s not something that arrives on cue

Subscribe to enjoy similar stories. There is a small puzzle I have been sitting with for some time. When I invite alumni to a flagship programme event—one meant to celebrate learning, community and shared journeys—it is not the most recent graduates who sign up first.

Instead, registrations tend to come from those who attended classes many years ago. This is puzzling because, on the surface, everything points the other way. Faculty relationships with recent alumni are warm and conversations are ongoing.

If loyalty were a simple function of proximity, they should be the first to respond. Yet, getting recent alumni onboard for such events often proves harder than engaging those who graduated a decade or more ago. Over time, I have realized that this pattern has little to do with teaching and much more to do with how human beings relate to institutions, leaders and even one another once time enters the equation.

Leaders often seem to assume that the most recently enrolled, such as fresh hires and newly onboarded customers, would be the most engaged, since the memory of their experience is vivid, relationships are still active and the value proposition seemingly needs no reinforcement. Behaviourally, the opposite tends to happen. When access feels easy and ongoing, people tell themselves ‘not now.’ There is no urgency when no loss is perceived.

Older alumni, by contrast, experience distance. What was once routine now feels rare and returning to a familiar but no longer everyday space holds emotional weight, turning participation into an act of reconnection rather than continuation. Business leaders encounter this pattern all the time, even if they do not consciously label it.