If in debt, you should not do this

economictimes.indiatimes.com:

finances down over the past four years. As she sat speaking to me, intermittently breaking down at the turn of events, the sadness and sorrow about the current situation was searing. However, there was no sign of regret or remorse.

Regret is a difficult emotion. We like to see ourselves as principled in a certain manner, and define our behaviour with great conviction and pride. We also profess those convictions to others, confident that our actions will align.

Then life throws a curve ball. A woman who sees herself as an epitome of patience, who never raises her voice, must deal with a husband who has turned adamant and demanding from being bedridden with a critical disease. A woman who has never borrowed a rupee all her life, must deal with her son’s mounting debt, built right under her unaware nose.

Regret is an emotion that is welling up inside, but she can’t show it. Most of us can’t. Indebtedness is that cruel regret that tears a household apart.

Everyone suffers from the actions of the one who makes the money decisions and keeps the debt away from the eyes of others. Reality catches up sooner than later. She told me how she believed that the business was doing really well, while her son was hiding from her his struggles to pay off the piling debt.

Both of them prefer to not talk about it now. He evades eye contact and she blames the world for the debt that wiped their wealth. Regret is not visible in the words and it is not hanging in the air at home either; denial is.

Denial is a lie we tell ourselves. We do not have the strength to face up to the truth of our circumstances. We have been brought down severely by debt and loss, and we choose to cope by behaving as if nothing has happened.