How over-indulgent parents hurt their finances for their children
Such parents repeatedly tell children that their lives are dedicated to them. Many are prepared to do whatever it takes to provide what they think is the best for their children. This indulgence begins with birthday parties and treats, moves on to coaching classes and courses of choice, and extends to setting them up and subsidising their adult lives. The less we talk about lavish weddings, the better.
Financial planners indicate that children’s education is the top financial goal for most parents. They save aggressively to make this happen. They work well beyond providing reasonably for their children. A combination of factors is at play: parents want their dreams fulfilled by children; they relive their lives through them; they compete in social circles over the accomplishments of their children; they believe that indulging every whim is a mark of good parenting; they suffer the guilt of being away at work and try to make it up to them, opening the door for manipulation. The list that blames the parents is fairly long.
I would venture another explanation. We have a culture of parental martyrdom. A good parent is marked by his ability to sacrifice so that his children are better off. We have emerged as a society that stretches this idea too far, where the competition for martyrdom and its glory masks all else. We don’t see parents having conversations about their other goals, aspirations and responsibilities with children.
Children grow up without being aware of other demands on the income and wealth of their
