If a friend bills you $4 for a favor, are they really a friend?

livemint.com:

Our best friendships can withstand everything. Except, maybe, a surprise Venmo request.

When Jonathan Arnold felt sudden, severe abdominal pain, he contacted a friend, who rented a Zipcar and drove him to the hospital, less than 10 minutes away.

Arnold ended up having emergency stomach surgery. A few days later, he also got a bill: a $4 Venmo request from his friend for the hospital drive.

He was upset, not least because the friend’s finances were better than his. “Needless to say, we are no longer friends," said Arnold, now 23.

Payment apps that allow us to send money seamlessly are turning us into each other’s accountants, itemizing charges from a $3 coffee to a $60 theater ticket. Tools like Venmo, PayPal and Splitwise make it easy to ask friends to chip in for a pizza or an outing—and pressures the one who always promises to pay you back to actually do so—but few things can sour a friendship faster than an unexpected bill.

“It’s a shock when you get the PayPal request, and you’re like, ‘What? How much was that?’" said Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, a New York-based etiquette consulting firm. “That can be awkward for both people."

Friendships, no matter how old or treasured, always contain some degree of scorekeeping and payback. After covering the check at dinner or hosting people for a cookout, it’s reasonable to expect guests will reciprocate.

The impersonal nature of after-the-fact Venmos, especially when the person seeking repayment never mentioned they would send a bill, have people rethinking what’s a friendly gesture, and what’s a billable cost.

Venmo, Splitwise and other apps let users nudge each other with reminders of outstanding bills. Venmo’s transactions tab, PayPal’s and Cash App’s activity