The trouble with too much empathy at the workplace

Subscribe to enjoy similar stories. It’s often said that too much humility is pride. In a similar vein, too much empathy could be vanity.

We all understand the importance of empathy in professional spheres, but could there be a downside to empathy? While it is important to know your emotional state and that of others, you must avoid situations where you end up making yourself miserable while attempting to make others happy. The trouble with excessive empathy is that it not only plagues your professional life but also the personal. Take your children, when should you give in to their demands and when should you draw the line? Empathy must be demonstrated within boundaries or it hurts all involved.

Containing your emotions in general, and empathy in particular, may be daunting in a personal setting, but relatively straightforward on the professional front. Or so we think. Many professions are built on this practice of bounded empathy.

The airlines industry is instructive in this regard. Let’s revisit a familiar scenario. You barely make it to your boarding gate before the 25-minute cut-off.

Other travellers behind you aren’t as lucky. How does the ground staff react? While they are all smiles at other times, their empathy ceases the moment you are late at the departure gate. At this time, the empathy is reserved for those on the other side of the gate—the customers awaiting a timely take-off.

It doesn’t make business sense to demonstrate empathy to all under all circumstances. Ergo, empathy has boundaries. Unlike airlines where the scope of empathy is explicit, most everyday professional dealings leave a lot to the guesswork.