We’re all talking to each other less than we did a decade ago

Subscribe to enjoy similar stories.When was the last time you engaged in friendly banter with your barista, chatted with your neighbor or called your mother?Chances are, you placed your latte order on an app and ignored your neighbor when you pulled into your driveway. Your mom? She likely had to settle for a text.Digital interactions are replacing face-to-face interactions with loved ones and strangers.

And the rise of AirPods means we’re all tuned into our own little worlds, appearing unapproachable for conversation.The result: We’re speaking much less than we did a decade ago. Yes, someone counted our daily words.In 2005, we spoke about 16,632 words every day.

By 2019, that number had fallen to 11,900, according to researchers at the University of Missouri-Kansas City and the University of Arizona. All told, our speaking decreased about 28% in that time period.

And it’s very likely that loss has widened in the years following the pandemic, say those researchers.In the course of a year, at least 120,000 words we each might have once said now go unspoken.As people retreat into online spaces, loneliness could become an even greater problem, psychologists fear. And speaking less could lead to a decline in the cognitive chess game that is conversation, especially for infants whose mothers are speaking to them less.Talking requires you to pay attention to what the other person is saying, formulate a response and control your physical reaction, all within about 200 milliseconds, says Valeria Pfeifer, assistant professor of psychology and counseling at the University of Missouri-Kansas City.“Talking to people builds skills like learning when to speak and when not to—and how to interject,” says Pfeifer, who is co-author of the