Who pays for the wedding? Traditional etiquette doesn't always hold

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Clothes, travel, food, liquor, flowers: There’s no end to expenses when it comes to traditional weddings

NEW YORK — Attire, travel, food, liquor, flowers: There's no end to expenses when it comes to traditional weddings.

Through time, though certainly not always, it was the bride's parents who were expected to pay the bulk of expenses, but like so many aspects of weddings, the etiquette has gotten more fluid. The ages of first-time bridal couples is going up. Parents might be older too, and thinking about saving for retirement or already on fixed incomes.

So who pays and how much?

Now, “it’s really a candid conversation" between the couple and those who might want to contribute, said Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute and co-host of the “Awesome Etiquette” podcast.

“Often it’s parents, but that’s not the case for everybody,” she said. “Never assume that anyone else is going to contribute to your wedding.”

Jove Meyer, a wedding planner and designer in New York, agreed.

“We have found over the years that it’s definitely shifted,” he said. “It's hard to talk about money, but it's one of the most important questions couples have to ask.”

Among U.S. users of the wedding planning site The Knot, parents on average contribute slightly more than half the wedding budget, with bridal couples covering the rest, said editor Sarah Hanlon.

The ages of first-time couples have steadily risen for both men and women since 1998. The median age for men getting married for the first time was 30.2 last year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. It was 28.4 for women. In 1947, the medians were 23.7 for men and 20.5 for women.

“As couples marry later in life and are often more financially established, many choose to cover