Is repeating someone’s name charming—or creepy?
Subscribe to enjoy similar stories. Greg Fahey says there’s a trick that has helped him recruit college athletes and make friends with powerful people. When he meets someone, he repeats their name in conversation and sometimes writes the moniker in his phone to aid his memory.
“I view it as the superpower we all have that no one uses," said Fahey, a 33-year-old basketball coach at Hampton University in Virginia. Politicians, executives and others have long used this subtle tactic to get ahead. But as a new wave of professionals are being trained to remember and say names, they’re encountering resistance from those who find it more creepy than charming.
Steve Dickerman, who runs a startup in Chicago, won’t work with people who say his name frequently. He said his company was set on buying a certain artificial-intelligence tool until a salesman repeated his name so often it seemed aggressive. “He was doing stuff like, ‘OK Steve, would you be totally opposed to trying this out?’ and ‘Steve, I’m hearing from you it sounds like you’re worried,’" he said.
Dickerman, 34, said it was clear the person was using manipulative sales tactics. His startup instead chose another service with a less pushy salesperson. TJ Guttormsen, who teaches communication courses, said it’s easy to see when someone is repeating a name to try to influence others.
“I feel icky when someone says my name every other sentence," he said. Salespeople kept saying his name when he tried to buy a car in Las Vegas, he said. He ended up buying his car online.
“When they keep trying to force it, that gets exhausting," he said. Still, Guttormsen, 42, said he makes a point to try to learn and repeat people’s names—without overdoing it. He said he attended a
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