How to fix your marriage in 16 hours
Couples therapy—the venue for the messy job of tackling the disillusionment, betrayals, moribund sex lives and other issues that pop up between partners—has a new variant. Called “high-impact therapy," it is rapidly gaining fans among those who’ve tried it. Chris and Erin van der Velde took the plunge when they signed up for therapy with Ellyn Bader, a psychologist in Menlo Park, Calif.
The van der Veldes, ages 60 and 59, respectively, run a sprawling golf resort together in Bend, Ore. Although the resort is successful, the pressures of managing 250 employees and a flood of customers had been taking a toll on both of them and their 34-year-old marriage. “Our relationship suffered in part because there’s this constantly screaming baby we have to deal with," says Chris van der Velde, referring to the resort.
Says Erin van der Velde: “We were losing our sense of connection." The two had already tried traditional couples therapy. But, Chris says, “There were a lot of sessions where I left wondering what I had just paid for." So this time, the van der Veldes turned to Bader, who has helped develop the high-impact approach, the centerpiece of which is the “couples intensive"—16 hours of highly structured work over a two-day period. “It was like nothing we’ve ever done before," says Erin.
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