Power of powerless speech: Use of 'weak language' may just get women the corner office

economictimes.indiatimes.com:

IF YOU DON'T MIND, I THINK I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A THEORY ABOUT GENDER NORMS. WOULD THAT WORK? «Stop using weak language.» If you're a woman, you've probably gotten this advice from a mentor, a coach or a teacher. If you want to be heard, use more forceful language.

If you want a raise or a promotion, demand it. As the saying goes, nice girls don't get the corner office. This advice may be well-intentioned, but it's misguided.

Disclaimers (I might be wrong, but ...), hedges (maybe, sort of), and tag questions (don't you think?) can be a strategic advantage. So-called weak language is an unappreciated source of strength. Understanding why can explain a lot about the way women acquire power and influence — and how men do, too.

It turns out that women who use weak language when they ask for raises are more likely to get them. In one experiment, experienced managers watched videos of people negotiating for higher pay and weighed in on whether the request should be granted. The participants were more willing to support a salary bump for women — and said they would be more eager to work with them — if the request sounded tentative: «I don't know how typical it is for people at my level to negotiate,» they said, following a script, «but I'm hopeful you'll see my skill at negotiating as something important that I bring to the job.» By using a disclaimer («I don't know ...») and a hedge "(I hope ..."), the women reinforced the supervisor's authority and avoided the impression of arrogance.

For the men who asked for a raise, however, weak language neither helped nor hurt. No one was fazed if they just came out and demanded more money. In 29 studies, women in a variety of situations had a tendency to use more «tentative language»