Being chivalrous is being kind, that's it
social interactions, kindness and politeness have taken a backseat, thanks to the overzealous knight in shining armour, 'chivalry'. Once upon a time, holding doors open and offering seats were acts of decency. But now, these gestures are often viewed through the murky lens of gender politics, transforming simple acts of kindness into patronising, patriocratic statements.
Chivalry, with its roots in perceptions of helping out 'helpless' women, is still seen as directed towards women.
When women give up their seats in metro trains for men or other women, it's 'being considerate'. But when a man holds a door open for a woman, it's no longer just a door being held — it becomes a Pandora's box of assumptions. Is he being polite? Or is he implying she's incapable? Should she be grateful? Or should she be offended by the perceived patronisation?
The fear of being misinterpreted has led many to abandon these courtesies altogether.
After all, who wants to risk a polite gesture being misconstrued as a microaggression? But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Kindness and politeness are not inherently gendered. They are the social glue that holds our interactions together.
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