Money and relationships: Why you must speak up, discuss and become financially literate to stop household money mismanagement
“I wish my wife understood that debt is ruining us,” lamented a husband elsewhere. She was insistent that borrowing was about using other peoples’ money smartly. Their savings were locked in several residential properties, mostly small and distantly located. She told him that delays were part of the process and that they would be rich soon. Did he tell her that there was no money for the upcoming college admission of their son?
Recognise financial abuse in whatever form it presents itself. If someone controls your money matters because your abdication was interpreted as approval, check yourself for resentment. Speak up if you don’t like how your money is being used. If someone restricts your ability to earn, spend, save, invest, or give, they may be using money to control you. Money decisions in a household require transparency, discussion, approval and understanding, if they must remain fair and equitable. Set that standard and do what it takes to get there.
There may be instances where the victim is unaware of the seriousness of the situation. For instance, a husband could be lecturing his wife about being careful with spending, while failing to exhibit these qualities himself. The wife may insist on seeing the receipts for all purchases made by the husband, while being secretive about her own spending. Actively sabotaging the career and income prospects of a spouse by making it difficult at home is a situation many couples are quite familiar with.
My friend and her husband have a joint account in which both
